Have you been in a Time Machine?

by Captain Trevor Jackson

I turned all the lights off, just to take it all in. It was spooky calm and overcast. Spoilsports compass read North by northwest. Ahead lay 7 hours of magic carpet ride. The lighthouse at Bougainville Reef began to dip below the horizon in our wake. All I could hear was the faint hum of the motors and the swish of water. Everyone had retired for the night, the crew were asleep, it was just me and the Coral Sea. I took a sip of coffee and leaned, nose pressed against the window… then across the stillness I heard it… ”When you’re an adult, no one is going to pay you to stare out the window”

It was my grade 6 teacher coming for a visit. Coming to remind me that the world is a serious place. And you know, lately, it has been a serious place. Very serious.

You don’t need me to rehash the goings-on… But what I can tell you is about a way out, even if only briefly. You see I’ve discovered something that will change your world… I call it… the ‘Spoilsport Time Machine’. Here’s how it works.

You’re sitting at home getting bombarded hourly with news of the world. Djokovic, COVID, Afghanistan. It’s like it never lets up [that’s coz it never lets up]. You pack your dive gear, jump on a plane and head on down to the time machine. A glass of champagne and you’re away… The news of the world fades west with the sun.

By dawn, it’s wind on the water, birds zooming, flying fish… well flying I guess. All the dark clouds that shrouded you on the plane are gone with a capital “G”. It’s days of sun and fun, nights of laughter and full bellies… Pretty soon you’ve forgotten all about the tennis player.
And so it goes. Tropical limbo, until the time comes to re-enter the known universe. Coming down the Cairns leads, all phones leap back to life. But here’s the thing. You’ve missed a week. Things have jumped forward. Things have moved on. While you were gone, everything changed. Even if only by a small increment, you jumped forward in time.

Okay… I’m drawing a bit of a long bow here, but it really is a thing. There’s no internet on board and that’s deliberate. We tried it once and disconnected it. Life was better. And I know; I hear ya…
‘That’s how the world goes round’… But, for a week at a time, we can go without. For a week at a time, we can all jump on the time machine and just… chill.

We can forget the world is a serious place, raise a glass to my
grade 6 teacher and just… stare out the window.

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